January 26, 2009...12:13 pm

The HAMMER Comes Down

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Here’s something that appeals only to fanboys: what the hell does HAMMER stand for?  Ever since SHIELD died a horrible death in the wake of Secret Invasion, we’ve been hearing about Norman Osborn’s newer, eviller organization: HAMMER.  But the acronym was left unexplained.  For a while, at least:

HAMMER means nothing

So Norman Osborn admits what some had guessed: HAMMER means nothing at all.  It was picked simply because it sounds cool.

Not that SHIELD was always 100% certain what it stood for.  In the days of Jim Steranko’s Nick Fury series, it stood for Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. In recent days, we had Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate.  And, in the movies, we have the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division (Personally, I prefer the original one).

Clearly, the lesson for Norman Osborn is this: if you want your shadowy, sinister death squad to last, pick the name early.  You’ve got the pin those letters down, and never waver. We’ll probably get something like this:

Homeland Armed Military Management, Enforcement, & Reconaissance

There are clearly better options.  My faithful friend Mr. Chew suggests, rather adroitly:

Hackneyed Acronym Made at Marvel Executive Retreat

I don’t think that one can be beat.  But please, all readers, feel free to try.

Note: I know acronyms should have periods between each word, but I’m too lazy to type them all in.

2 Comments

  • First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!

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    Are you tension? panic?

  • jajaja nice.
    I wonder what´s up with Marvel and acronyms.
    Everything has one. Why not calling them just “Bad Organization” “Good Organization” and stuff.
    Like The Avengers for example, that´s pretty short and direct.
    Like the blog, first time reader (newfag I guess)


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