August 28, 2007

Garfield is Dead

I was bouncing around retroCRUSH the other day, when I came across the creepiest comic strip-related thing I have ever seen: Garfield’s death. (Naturally, I have had no luck trying to find the page again. Trust me, it’s there.)

I’m sure this has been blogged ad nauseum prior to my discovery of it, but I shall cover it nonetheless. Here are the strips in question, which ran from October 23 to October 28, 1989 (apologies if they don’t fit):

Clearly, this is something with a little more punch than your average “Garfield is fat, Jon is lame, Odie is retarded” strip. This is about as bizarre and surreal as major syndicated strips can be. There is no humour. There are no punchlines. Garfield is just tossed into a horrific scenario of abandonment and isolation.

The theory regarding this strip, and the one that I personally subscribe to, is that this storyline represents Garfield’s death, almost. As we see in the final strip, beginning with that bizarre close up on a sweaty, hallucinating eye, Garfield has turned to denial. Those third and fourth panels? Denial. Garfield is clearly alone, trapped in an abandoned home, with no way out. Using sheer force of will, he utterly denies his situation, conjuring up familiar visions of Jon and Odie. It follows, then, that every Garfield strip since 1989 is just a continuing hallucination. Garfield’s mind is working at a fevered pace in the moments before death, as he imagines the same scenarios over and over again with painful repetition. His denial is so powerful that he has crammed the intervening eighteen years into the span of a few hours, while he starves to death in the empty house.

Jim Davis, of course, denies everything. In a 20th anniversary collection, he wrote:

“During a writing session for week, I got the idea for this decidedly different series of strips. I wanted to scare people. And what do people fear? Why, being alone of course. We carried out the concept to its logical conclusion and got a lot of responses from readers.”

At least, that’s what it says he says on Wikipedia. And really, it’s only natural that he would say something like that. Because the whole thing was a cover for something far more momentous: Jim Davis’ departure from the strip, and his replacement with some kind of secret ghost-creator.

Please note: I have absolutely no evidence to support this claim. But it makes sense to me. By 1989, Garfield had been running for just over ten years. That’s Jim Davis working, day-in day-out, on more and more jokes about a bloated cat and his dipshit master. How quickly do you think that would get old? By ‘89, Davis was already well established. He had Garfield, and US Acres, and was rolling in money from merchandising and cartoon adaptations. He must have woken up one day and realized, “Shit, I don’t have to keep on drawing this tripe. I can hire some halfwit art student to churn out 365 strips a year while I relax on a beach in Malibu.” And so he did. US Acres folded up shop in May, but wasn’t popular enough to warrant Davis hiring a ghost. Garfield, though, was his flagship. He needed to keep it running, if only to keep the character in the minds of the people. But he planned a nice big fuck you to his millions of readers, prior to his departure. He would hit them with a surreal salvo, a brief little storyline so bizarre that his readers would be left scratching their heads for years, or as long as it took them to read the next, comfortably familiar strip. And so, with the October 28 strip, Davis faded into the background, leaving an armada of lawyers to sort out the confidentiality and non-disclosure agreements that would be hoisted upon his anonymous successors.

Don’t believe me? Honestly, when was the last time you read a Garfield strip that hasn’t already been done a dozen times? There are only so many jokes you can tell with those characters, and David told them all from ‘78 to ‘89. Give the man credit: he established a money-making empire that has spawned animated series, films, and countless car window suction toys. Do you really think somebody that deviously clever would keep himself chained to a drawing table churning out mindless dreck?

Doesn’t it make sense?

August 27, 2007

Odd Shots

Catching up with the last few weeks of comics miscellany:

  •  Is Batman coming out biweekly right now?  It sure feels that way.  I think if his whole run had come out with this kind of regularity there would have been a much stronger reaction to it.
  • Speaking of Batman, is anyone else as impressed as I am by his style shoutouts on the various Club of Heroes members?  I picked up on the Chaykin Gaucho, Gibbons Wingman and McGuinness Knight & Squire, but it was cool to read the man himself lay out the inspirations and the reasons behind his choices.
  • FYI: Howard Chaykin drew every book Marvel published this month.
  • How many times is Marvel going to have Iron Man get stomped half to death in the wake of Civil War?
  • Doesn’t the Thor redesign look about 75% less lame than his previous costume?  It was time.
  • I love hearing that both Ray Stevenson and Kevin McKidd from Rome were attached (with differing levels of certainty) to Marvel films in the same week (Punisher and Thor, respectively).
  • Isn’t the eventual Avengers movie going to kick ass?
  • Garth Ennis on Dan Dare: Hells yes.  Anyone worried that he’ll somehow Preacherize this vaunted character need look no further than his splendid Battler Britton series, which delivered a two-fisted war story with nary a meat-woman in sight.
  • Why is Garth Ennis’ Thor: Vikings series so hard to find?  I’ve been looking for that paperback for years.  And while we’re on the subject, can we get reprints of the Ennis Punisher Marvel Knights stuff?  I’ve never read the last dozen or so issues and it’s killing me.
  • How can I love everything Matt Fraction does and still despise Punisher: War Journal?

That’s all.

August 27, 2007

Justice League, at last

This is me, not blogging.  I shall not bother you with the reasons for my absence, but simply get back to comics.  Or rather, film adaptations of comics. Topic for today: an upcoming JLA film.

Cliff notes version: DC and WB are preparing to make a JLA film using the same motion capture techniques you’ll see if you risk $10 on the Niel Gaiman-penned Beowulf adaptationThe writer is the same guy who called out George for double-dipping at that wake.  It would be entirely separate from the continuity of the current Batman and Superman franchises, allowing them to tell whatever story the script monkeys at Warner have hammered out.

My gut reaction is to send hearty kudos in the direction of whoever decided to make this movie.  For years I’ve felt that you could make a damn fine superhero movie that wasn’t live action.  A movie like JLA, packed to the gills with godlike characters, makes a perfect test case for an animated superhero feature.  Keeping the continuity divorced from the other franchises is also a pretty clever little manoeuvre. Now you can have a Batman who’s as expereienced and respected as he is in the comics, and it might almost make sense for him to be running with people who could destroy the world twice over just by thinking.  Furthermore, we won’t have to wait until there’s a Flash movie, a Wonder Woman movie, a Martian Manhunter movie, etc. before we see them all in the same film (although I have nothing but high hopes for the route Marvel is taking, I just fear that given the pace DC’s been putting out adaptations, we’d be waiting until 2025).

My one reservation is that the motion capture technique sorta weirds me out.  I know this is bullshit, because I just praised DC for choosing to make an animated film, but I can’t help watch the Beowulf trailers and think “If they wanted Angelina Jolie’s character to look exactly like Angelina Jolie, why animate her at all?”.  I prefer a more animated look, wherein the character need not be quite so photo-realistic.  But this is a minor quibble.  I am stoked for this movie.

By the way, Dwayne McDuffie starts on JLA with the next issue.  Buy it if you enjoy being happy.

Props to Chew for bringing that article to my attention.

August 7, 2007

ceebeegeebee at the racks roundup

Having been away on and off for the last little while, I haven’t really reviewed any comics.  Luckily, I bought a fat stack of the things yesterday, and will now tell you what I thought of them in 7 words (contractions count as one):

 Punisher #50 : :) Chaykin draws Barracuda, Frank gets a surprise.

 Chronicles of Wormwood #6: :) This funny and thoughtful series ends well.

 Detective Comics #835: :( Weak story plus lacklustre art equals lame.

Midnighter #10: :( Much better when Ennis was writing it.

Batman #666: :| Futuristic, apocalyptic, satanic, and yet somehow underwhelming.

The Immortal Iron Fist #7: :) Loved it despite some jarring art changes.

Queen & Country #32: :| Good, but tardier than All Star Batman.

The Programme #1: :| Muddled story not saved by Maleevesque art.

World War Hulk #3: :) Banner appears, and he’s pissed off too.

Thor #2: :) I missed number one, but this works.

August 7, 2007

If he’s back, Steve Rogers can’t be far behind

In no way related to comics, but creepy enough that people must see it.

Notice the horrer etched on the features of the balding man at 0:03: his pitiful visage contorted with anguish at the sight of a hideously reanimated popcorn spokesman:

 orville-will-not-stay-dead.jpg

July 31, 2007

Jon Favreau Knows What He’s Doing

A clip that is probably already everywhere on the internet is know here as well, for at least as long as livevideo  Youtube keeps it up.

This confirms so very many warm and fuzzy thoughts I’ve been thinking about this movie. The characterization of Tony Stark seems faithful (at least, to pre-Civil War Tony, which is to say Tony before he became a giant asshole). The first suit he builds is just perfect in its haphazard, machined-up look. And the flight sequence just looks damn exciting.

I’ll try not to give this movie a giant handjob just on the basis of this clip, but things look to be on the best track.

PS: DC? Warner Brothers? Let’s get things going, shall we?

EDIT: Livevideo didn’t keep it up for very long, as it turns out, but Youtube’s got it.

July 25, 2007

Scott McCloud, eat your heart out

When I first heard DC had setup their own digital comics imprint I had my own, wildly inaccurate picture of what that meant.  I imagined DC comics being distributed digitally for download or viewing online.  The truth is somewhat less revolutionary.

The truth is that comics are already free for download if you’re willing to… uh… not pay for them.  I would not have read Miracleman if this were not the case.  I prefer my comics in a physical form, however, which is why I have almost no money but for some reason I cannot fathom, I own the first volume of the terrible Ultimate Galactus trilogy (anyone want to buy it?  It’s awesome.  Really).

If anyone at DC or Marvel had any balls, they’d be setting up an iTunes-style download service for their comics.  Imagine: the Big Two opening up their entire archives for download, at a dollar an issue.   Wanna read some ultra rare golden age comic from 1940-something?  A dollar.  Wanna peruse some short-lived but fondly remembered mini-series from the 70’s? A dollar.  That’s the future.  The sooner The big two get wise, the better.

I dream of an even more glorious time, when the service I describe above is expanded to offer print-on-demand collections.  If the pages themselves are scanned, what’s stopping Time-Warner from buying out some sort of quick-print service like Lulu Press and using it to print collections, as created by the consumer?  I want a book that has every Batman/Green Arrow team-up.  I do a quick search.  I select the issues I want.  I click “Collect It!” and select the order I want the issues to be printed in.  I pick from a selection of images for front and back cover art.  Then I punch in my credit card info and a week later I’m kicking up my heels with an honest-to-god ink-and-paper collection of the very best of the Dark Knight and the Emerald Archer.

I recognise that there are a million-and-one legal and logistical hurdles to this vision being realized, but I think that one day, it will be reality.  And that’ll be a good day.

July 21, 2007

Nick Fury Saves The Marvel Universe

Lacking any natural artistic abilities of my own, I have accepted that I will forever toil in a world decorated by crude, half-witted stickmen.  With that in mind, I submit the following:

 

Nick Fury Saves The Marvel Universe

 

This day is coming soon.

July 19, 2007

Tintin: Insanest of the Insane

On the lighter side (or much darker side, depending on how you feel) of the aforeblogged Tintin in the Congo, here’s how Tintin rescues Snowy from a pesky primate:

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Another monkey? Why, whatever for? Is our intrepid hero hatching some clever scheme?

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Hmmm… Interesting. Tintin certainly dispatched that monkey with aplomb, but what now?

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He… he what?

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I think I’m going to be sick…

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“WITHOUT AROUSING HIS SUSPICIONS?!?” You’re a human being who has gutted a dead monkey and draped yourself in its still-warm fur, and now you’re walking around with your face sticking out of its neck, wearing a hat and carrying a rifle. Everything about this would arose a monkey’s suspicions!

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See?! I told you! You’re insane, Tintin! You need help!

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Oh my god… The monkey is talking to him? This is an acid trip. It has to be. Nothing else would explain why Tintin would suddenly go batshit insane.

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Oh, no Snowy. Nothing to fear. Tintin, your master, has simply carved himself a new monkey suit and runs around the jungle smelling like freshly-skinned primate, talking to beasts and climbing through trees. Nothing to worry about at all.

And if that episode weren’t evidence enough of Tintin’s obvious insanity, consider this: after a brief scuffle with the monkey (who decides he’d rather have the gun than the hat and tries another trade, with violent results) Tintin feels so comfortable in his new skin that he walks all the way back to camp in it, much to the horror of Coco, our intrepid hero’s unfortunate guide.

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Despite Snowy’s chiding, I can’t help but sympathize with young Coco’s reaction here. If I were sitting in the jungle, alone except for an unconscious assassin trussed up in my car (long story) and someone came sauntering out of the brush wearing a blood-soaked monkey hide, a safari hat, and dragging a dead antelope (it’s there, trust me) I would probably be a little bit freaked out, too.

In conclusion: Wearing monkey skin is insane. Tintin wears monkey skin. Therefore, Tintin is insane.  QED

 

July 18, 2007

Tintin, Hergé, and Racism

After being away on vacation for just over a week, I feel like I’ve lost touch with the entire world. After sorting through a pile of unread emails, I noticed that two different people had sent me this item, which details the relocation of Hergé’s Tintin in the Congo from the children’s section to the graphic novel section at the Borders bookstore chain. The motive is the perceived racism of the text, and the fear that parents would be offended to find their children reading a comic that characterizes Africans as idiotic and, essentially, sub-human.

 

tintin-in-the-congo.jpgI don’t think there’s any way to argue against such a move. The book is undoubtedly racist. The natives that Tintin encounters speak in a dim-witted pidgin English and dress in the ridiculous remnants of western clothing. They are foolish and lazy, and are so enamored of their Great White visitor that they make him their king, and eventually elevate him to a sort of godlike status. They are drawn with massive pink circles around their mouths. This is not a depiction of Africans that children should be exposed to. It can only foster racism and prejudice if read at face-value by impressionable children.

 

Furthermore, the book has some rather surprising incidences of violence towards animals. Tintin plays at big game hunter, shooting at everything he sees. In one gag, he kills fifteen antelope, thinking with each shot he fires that he’s taking aim at the same antelope and missing each time. In a scene that has been edited out of subsequent editions, he drills a hole in a rhinoceres’ hide and stuffs a stick of dynamite in. The cruelty he displays towards animals, while not nearly as damaging as the book’s racism, is still quite shocking.

There is an introduction that defends the book as a depiction of “the colonial attitudes of the time”, and warns that “today’s readers may find [it] offensive,” which might just be the understatement of the year. If there is any defence for this book, it’s that an older and wiser Hergé was deeply embarassed by this, one of his earliest efforts. He eventually recognized the racism and violence that pervaded the text, and attempted (largley unsuccessfully, in my mind) to tone down the worst passages. What remained was still offensive enough that The Hergé Foundation held back the colour English translation until 2005.

So for Borders to move the book out of the children’s section is perfectly understandable. For the British Commission for Racial Equality to recommend the title be removed from bookstores goes one step too far. If anything, Tintin in the Congo provides a window into the perceptions of the past, showing how far we have come. To ban it outright would be a horrible abuse, a terrible case of censorship run rampant. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, another children’s book from an earlier era, has also faced consistent criticism for percieved racism, but has never been banned from bookstores. While I would not place Tintin in the Congo on the same level as Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, I will say that both texts, despite content that might be uncomfortable for modern readers, are not harmful in and of themselves. Despite the racism, despite the violence, Tintin in the Congo – if read in the proper context and with a critical eye – can be an interesting read, although for different reasons than Hergé originally intended.

Still, here’s me betting that Jackson and Spielberg skip this one when they do their multi-million dollar 3D movie adaptations.