Now dig on this:

Something that occured to me after going to the movies the other day. Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen the latest opus from the director of Evil Dead 2.

In Spider-Man 3 MJ and Harry kiss, and then MJ gets all nervous and runs out. She returns home to hear Peter on her answering machine, and to find her lights don’t work. Then, suddenly, Harry (fresh from another bump on his head) attacks her on his flying XXXtreme goblinboard, warning her that she has to do what he says, or else…

xxxxxxxxxtreme goblinSo, soon afterwards, MJ calls Pete and they meet in the park, where she tearfully lets him know it’s over and goes to get a job as a singing waitress. Harry watches creepily from the trees, even complimenting her as she passes. Then later we have the extra-creepy diner scene with Pete where Harry confesses to being the other man. Then later, emo-spidey beats on Harry and tells MJ to dig on this, and the plot keeps rolling.

So my question is, what is the #*@&ing point of having Harry attack MJ as Green Goblin? He tells her to break up with Peter, sure, but if you tell some girl (who’s now suffering through her third super-villain attack) that you’re gonna do bad things if she doesn’t break up with her super-hero boyfriend, what’s she gonna do? Would she not go straight to her super-hero boyfriend and tell him to kick the super-villain’s ass? Not if you’re MJ. No, if you’re MJ, you do what your friend-turned-kiss-buddy- turned-flying- XXXXXtreme-super-villain attacker tells you to do, and then you get on with your life. You don’t think ‘Hey, maybe allowing myself to be used as a pawn in the machinations of someone I just found out is a super-villain isn’t such a great idea. Clearly, Harry wants to hurt Peter, and Harry’s just threatening me to get to him. Maybe I should tell Peter that Harry is evil and has a flying XXXXXXtreme goblinboard, since I have no idea if Peter is aware that his best friend is a super-villain.’. No, you don’t think any of that, because you’re MJ, and you exist to be in distress.

Looking back, that scene where Harry attacks MJ is really pointless. You could take that scene out, and having MJ break up with Peter would still make sense. But by having it in there, they’ve made MJ this weird, weak character who does whatever a genetically-modified super-villain piloting a rocket-launching XXXXXXXXtreme goblinboard tells her to do and never, never looks back to question her choices. Seriously, how could she not tell Peter that Harry is a #*@&ing lunatic? The film makes it clear that MJ’s in the dark about Peter’s true relationship with Harry, and so when she learns that Harry is a super-villain with a #*@&ing flying XXXXXXXXXXtreme goblinboard, why would she not share this information with Peter?

In conclusion, having Harry attack MJ was a very poorly thought-out scene, MJ is a bit of a tard, and Gwen Stacy is hot.

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Filed under mary jane, spider-man

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