Here’s something that appeals only to fanboys: what the hell does HAMMER stand for? Ever since SHIELD died a horrible death in the wake of Secret Invasion, we’ve been hearing about Norman Osborn’s newer, eviller organization: HAMMER. But the acronym was left unexplained. For a while, at least:
So Norman Osborn admits what some had guessed: HAMMER means nothing at all. It was picked simply because it sounds cool.
Not that SHIELD was always 100% certain what it stood for. In the days of Jim Steranko’s Nick Fury series, it stood for Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. In recent days, we had Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate. And, in the movies, we have the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division (Personally, I prefer the original one).
Clearly, the lesson for Norman Osborn is this: if you want your shadowy, sinister death squad to last, pick the name early. You’ve got the pin those letters down, and never waver. We’ll probably get something like this:
Homeland Armed Military Management, Enforcement, & Reconaissance
There are clearly better options. My faithful friend Mr. Chew suggests, rather adroitly:
Hackneyed Acronym Made at Marvel Executive Retreat
I don’t think that one can be beat. But please, all readers, feel free to try.
Note: I know acronyms should have periods between each word, but I’m too lazy to type them all in.